This post is just a snippet of why I love my husband. Just a tiny glimpse. The snippet is that I am able to be the mother I want to be, and the mother that our kids deserve, because of his support. Often we look at mothers and all they go through in a single day or single hour sometimes and we want to sing their praises for the little and big they dedicate their lives to. We mothers are deserving of it, but I can’t help to think that we don’t give enough credit to the dads and their contributions that allow us to do it all sanely. Especially in the first year after a new baby is born into a family, whether it’s the first baby or a subsequent baby, support is needed to function. Period.
My 11-month-old still doesn’t sleep through the night. Not even close. Recently, I have felt at the end of my rope with the lack of sleep and constant breastfeeding at night. It has been almost a year since I’ve had a full night of sleep, or even more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. I am the kind of person who before kids would frequently fall asleep at parties because I NEED 9-10 hours a night to function optimally. There was a year that our friends made fun of me because I had fallen asleep at every wedding of the summer. I am walking around in a cloud right now, but I don’t want to do CIO with her and I don’t feel like I can night-wean her until she gains more weight. Mr. Right doesn’t completely agree. But do you know what he has begun to do anyway? At least once a night, he gets up when the baby wakes up, brings her to our room, sticks her on my boob, and then takes her back to her bed when she is done. He does this so that I don’t have to completely wake up and I can get a tiny bit more rest than I would have. He would rather let her cry a bit, but because he knows it’s important to me not to do that, and because he knows I can’t physically handle much more sleeplessness, he does it.
Mr. Right works in Toronto, which is more often than not a 1 ½ – 2 hour commute each way. I am alone with the kids 12 hours a day on the regular. It’s hard. Do you know what he does when he comes home tired every night? He eats dinner with us with a smile on his face. He spends quality time with each of our kids. He bathes them. He works/commutes all day and then comes home to love us to pieces and give me a much needed break.
These are just 2 examples. Just two. Without them though, I wouldn’t be able to be the mother I am. When I feel like I will pull out my hair at the end of the day, I look at the clock and know he will be here soon and I regain a bit of sanity and strength. When I can barely keep my eyes open at night but am scared to fall asleep knowing that I will be awakened all too soon, I remember that I can count on him in the middle of the night when I need him and it gives me enough relief to go on another night without the amount of sleep I need. Thank you, my darling husband. Thank you.
This post will probably embarrass Mr. Right to no end. He probably won’t even want to read it. I don’t care. I don’t care because I also know he secretly, in the depths of his soul, loves how much I love and appreciate him. He loves that I love every square inch of him. He loves that I love every breath his lungs release. He loves that I love every beat his heart makes. So he will forgive me for this post, for this unadulterated view of our private affairs and the truths of my heart, because this post will remind him that I have always and will always love and appreciate All of Him.